Midget sex pt 2 tonight
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize