Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
