It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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