and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
