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i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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