i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
