Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
