I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
