i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
