thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
