it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
