I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
