i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
