Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
