dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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