it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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