Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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