Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
