a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
