You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize