She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
