I want to walk on stilts...naked
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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