love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
