Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
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Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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