Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
