come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
