scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
