Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
