Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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