how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
