You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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