I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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