Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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