is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
