I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
