I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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