K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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