I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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