Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
