Are we in a gay sports bar?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
