Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
zippers are such a cool invention
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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