let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
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Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
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I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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