smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
