you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
