I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
