She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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