I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I have fence marks all over my body
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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