So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
