I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
