ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
