Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
