i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
