summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
