i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
