god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Randomize
