i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
