Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think I am morally bankrupt
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
