Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think I am morally bankrupt
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
