Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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