I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
