And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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