well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
