I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
